The Cat is out of the Bag

A week and a half after we went "active" we got the call every adoptive family waits for.
A wonderful young lady chose us to be her child's adoptive family.
We were are so excited!
On Tuesday May 14th we received a call from American Adoptions. They informed us that we were chosen but this young lady's budget was more than ours (we are able to decline this match because our budgets don't match).
But!!!!
The other information (personal information that we choose not to share) made her a PERFECT match.
With SO much help from my parents, we were able to accept this match.
Needless to say, we have a birth mother. She is due July 3rd and she is having a girl!!
Even with all this excitement, we have to remember that the birth mother can change her mind. The state the birth mother is in there is a 72 hour time period that she has to change her mind. It is still a very REAL possibility that this could happen. We have spoken to her a few times and we will get to meet her in 2 weeks. She feels comfortable and confident that she is making the right decision. But we continue to pray that this is God's plan. That the birth mom is at peace with her decision. And that she and the baby remain healthy.
So we wait impatiently for the next call for us to head to the hospital.

We Are Active!!!

Disclaimer: this post is a few weeks out dated

We have sent in our activation papers and are now an active family.

Since we have been accepted and are now an active family, our family profile will be sent all over the USA to birth moms. It is just a matter of time until a birth mother will choose us. The average wait time is 0-12 months + however far along the birth mother may be in her pregnancy. Once chosen, we only have 2 days to complete the remaining paper work and send the rest/bulk of our money. 

We are VERY excited for this next step and can't wait to see what God has in store for us. 

Too much to express

As we get closer to becoming an "active family" we are flooded with, what feels like, a million emotions. And yet again, we are shown that Nathan is in a different place than I am in this adoption.
I have a tendency to get my hopes up, rush things, and just be an impatient, impractical, irrational person.
Nathan is reserved, laid back, rational, patient, and believes everything comes at its own time. I am ready to be "active" where as Nathan has concern and anxiety surrounding this next step in our adoption.  I am so excited and ready to become a mother but becoming a father is very overwhelming for Nathan.
So after a long talk, tears, and hugs we have decided I will slow down and be patient with Nathan, and he will get his anxiety in order and meet me half way. We will be understanding of each others feelings and both get on the same page... Of excitement!

Sooo

 We have finished our home study. The report should be finished and sent to our agency by the end of the month. We have finished our family profile and will be printed out and ready to send to birth families as soon as we go "active".
We are receiving our video equipment over Easter to start our video profile. We will be interviewed, family and friends will be interviewed, and footage of us being us will be collected and sent to be edited and put into a video. This will be sent to birth families and put on YouTube as soon as we go "active".
Going "active" is a huge step! Once "active" we are able to be chosen by any birth mom in any state. Then it is just a matter of time before we will have our baby!

Of course, there can be bumps along the way. So we continue to pray that God is in control of this situation. We are still behind in funds as well. We need $11,000 to be fully funded for our baby. We continue to pray for this as well!

Stay tuned for pictures of new nursery furnishings!

2 steps forward 1 HUGE step back

Our holidays were wonderful. I had an amazing time in India. And the husband and pup enjoyed their time in Alabama.
I spent Christmas standing on a train platform freezing my bum off for 7 hours and New Years on a safari finding a tiger (which we saw 2)! Of course I have lots more stories. Here are a few pictures from my trip.

(look closely... you can see the tiger)

flower ceremony on the Ganges

lovely lunch at a hunting lodge

our group at the Chanderi rock paintings

trying to get wifi in Alipura

palace wall in Orrcha

Taj Mahal



Thank you SOOOOO much Ma for this amazing trip! I can't wait to go back.

Enough about the holidays... How about an update about our adoption.
As we are getting close to submitting our entire home study packet, I have had mixed feelings. I'm so excited to say that we are done with our home study but I'm so scared to go "active" with our adoption agency.
Here is how it works...
While finishing up our home study, I have been filling out our profile with American Adoptions. Once we have passed out home study, we can go "active" with AA. Being active means birth moms can look at our profile online and/or via hard copies.
If a birth mom likes us (and she meets our criteria), we will have a phone conference with her and an adoption counselor. If she likes us even more after our phone conference, then she informs AA that she wants our family to adopt her baby. Once that happens, we have 48 hours to come up with the bulk of our money ($20,000). We are NO where close to that...
And so I feel discouraged, overwhelmed, and stressed.
How will we be able to get this money? Do we have to put off our adoption even more? What can we do to be able to finish and follow through with this?
These questions are a broken record in my head.
I am trying so hard to not worry and pray that God takes over but I seem to not be able to give up my control. I am thankful for a husband who is calm and relaxed about everything. He has been a great support and is there to talk me off my cliff when I am about to jump.
With all this being said... I pray that we will see answers soon.

The weather outside is frightful

Well it has been a long time since I have posted.
Recap of my last post: we were denied our adoption loan and in a state of hopelessness.
I am please to announce we are back on track!

God always provides. We have officially started our homestudy. We have initiated the paper work and as soon as I get back from India ( yes! I said India) we will begin our finger printing and back ground check.
Also, I have found a new agency, American Adoptions. This agency is nothing like ANLC. With American adoptions we will be able to set a budget and our total adoption ( minus airfare and home study) will not exceed it. The agency have been very responsive and helpful. The consultant is very educated with their programs and is always willing to clarify any misunderstandings. We hope to apply to their "limited risk" program as soon as I return from India. (The limited risk program is a specific program for African American children)

So India... Yes I am leaving for India on Thursday. My mom is taking me on a trip of a lifetime. My most amazing mom promised each of her kids a trip to anywhere after they graduated from college. My brother went to Ireland, me to India, and Alli will be headed to the Galápagos Islands in a few years. I graduated in 2010 and it has finally worked out to go now. Unfortunately, I will be leaving Nathan for the holidays, so I'm sending him ( and the pup) to Alabama to spend time with his parents.  I am very SUPER excited for this trip.
With that said, I'm off to pack some more.
Look forward to pictures!
Until next time... .

Our plans aren't always HIS

We were counting down the days until October. Now I wish we could take it all back.
October was suppose to be a big month for us. We were suppose to be approved for our adoption loan, sign our contract, and start our home study. We were suppose to be well on our way to bringing home our baby.

Unfortunately, our plans are not always Gods plans.

We were denied our adoption loan. This was and still is devastating news to me. Also, we have had some difficulties with the agency we chose. We have had to reconsider even using this agency. You see, I had this whole adoption thing planned out and now our my plans are going down the drain. We, mostly I, feel like we are at a loss. Months of research, planning, and saving feels like it was all pointless. I know it wasn't but I still feel hopeless.

Many people have said, "God is doing this for a reason." And I believe that but sometimes that is not what you want to hear. Sometimes what you want to hear is "you should be mad" "you deserve you emotional break downs" "your situation is crap!" (Maybe I'm a glass half empty kinda gal).

I do know there is a reason why this happened to us. I do know that we will eventually get our baby but it is hard all the same when things don't go as expected. I would like to know what Gods plan is. I would like to know the correct answers to all of the open ending questions we have. I would like to know exactly what God wants from us so we can do it right from the beginning. Since I won't be getting any of these answers from myself, I will continue to pray.

So we sit here... Back at step one.... Looking for an agency.

October can't come soon enough

I have started counting down the days until October.

October will be a very exciting month for us. We will sign our contract with Adoption Network Services and kick start our "official" adoption journey.

We have had to wait (since June) to sign our contract. Come October we will official have health insurance and be able to proceed with our adoption.

The adoption process tends to be a very long heart wrenching journey. With ANS they have found a way to fast track adoption. If all goes well, we will be expecting to bring home our baby by spring.

Here is what we have to accomplish:

1. Sign contract

2. Begin home study

3. (After a successful home study) create family portfolio

4. Wait to be chosen by a birth mother

5. Accept birth mother

6. Wait for baby to be born

7. Pick up baby

8. Wait for allotted time to finalize adoption.

 

It feels like a lot to do. But we keep praying that God will help all the steps go as smoothly as possible... starting with signing the contract in a few weeks! YAY!