September 27 2013

September 27 2013 is another important date that our family will always remember.

This day Durant's birth father's parental rights were automatically terminated!

The state of Ohio allows the birth father 30 days to claim his child before his parental rights will be terminanted.

We are lucky that we only had to wait 30 days. Some states require longer. I believe NJ is 120 days....YIKES!

This means that our adoption will have no inturruptions from a bioligical family member. We still have monthly home visits from our social worker to make sure we are "sutiable parents." And we will continue to have these visits until we finalize in about 5 months...

So we wait until we finailze.

Perez Family of 4

We just returned from Ohio, after being there for almost 2 weeks. This time with a happy ending.

Saturday (8/24) at 3:15pm we got a call from our adoption agency. Nathan was getting ready for work and of course I made him stop getting ready while we took this call.

Our agency had a possible match of a baby born. This baby was born that morning and birth mom needed to find a family fast. Because it was the weekend, the agency didn't know how much he weighed, how long, or if he was healthy. All they knew was that he was in Cleveland, OH (who would have thought Ohio again) and it was a boy. They needed a decision ASAP because if we were to pass they needed to find another family fast.

Side note: She chose us because she liked our profile and because we were "cool". -who would have thought.... us... cool?

After talking to Nathan for a total of 2 minutes, we called the agency back and accepted. Even though we were going in blind, we felt like this was the baby God wanted for us. Nathan had to go to work that night. I left to go get boy baby things. And the very next day we left for Ohio....again.

We met Nathan's cousin in Columbus to drop off Buddy and we headed to Cleveland for the hospital. On our way we got a text that the baby was healthy. We got to the hospital about 5 pm. The baby had jaundice and had to be under the photo therapy lights but we were able to hang out with him for 30 mins and then had to meet the birth mom.

 

We met with the birth mom and her other children's father (who has been her main support). Our meeting was very short. She said she already knew what she wanted to know about us. They did admit that they were going to have an abortion but didn't have the money, which is why they chose adoption. We thanked them repeatedly for choosing adoption. It is amazing to think that if they just had $400 we would not have our boy. We left the hospital that night knowing we had an agonizing 48 hours to go.

 

We came back the next day to spend the day with our son but were denied access because the social worker didn't have the birth mom fill out the paper work allowing us to see the baby. So we hung out in Cleveland that day. Tuesday, 8/27 the birth mom signed the custody papers at 12 pm. We signed ours an hour later and Durant David Isaac became ours.

 

We have a few more dates that we need to pray for.

The birth father has 30 days from placement (8/27) to come forward and take for custody.

Also, we have 7 months before it can be finalized.

But for now, We have our son, in our home, and he is perfect.

 

Thank you all for your support, love, encouragment, and prayers!

 



Wanting to save the world 1 baby at a time

This past week, exactly 1 month from the birth of our fist match, we were given the opportunity to parent another baby.

At first, we were thrilled, overjoyed, ecstatic, excited and happy. That was until we learned more about this baby.

The precious baby boy was born August 4th at 29 weeks old. He weighed 3lbs and was 15 inches long. His mother had been addicted to heroin and once she found out she was pregnant, she decided to get clean and was put on methadone.
The baby was is healthy as to be expected for a 29 weeker. He will not be released from this hospital until he is 36 weeks.

When we learned all we could about this match, I started doing my research.
What are the long term effects of methadone addictions?
Long term effect of premature babies?
 How could this affect us?
After learning all that I could, I realized I wanted to save him. I want to save all the babies who need a home.
Although, after talking with Nathan we decided to pass on this baby.
Heartbroken, I pray that this birth mom finds a family to love, support, and care for him.

So we continue to wait for the baby God has picked for us...

Whoever said "forgetting is easy" is wrong

Well it has been a few weeks since our hearts were broken so I thought I would try to explain everything.
We were in OH for 9 days. 6 of those days we spend with the birth mom. We were by her side all day. We provided support and were a comfort while she endured 60 hours of labor. We really got to know each other. We made plans to meet yearly, sending gifts and pictures of the baby, and we heard her plans of getting on with her life.
After 60hrs the doctors decided on a c- section. I was honored to be asked to go into surgery with her. She wanted me with the baby as soon as she was out. It was truly a miracle to witness the birth of, what we thought would be, our child.  The baby was born at 1:44pm weighing in at 8lbs exactly and 18 3/4 inches long ( it's amazing that I remember all of this).  She was gorgeous. She scored low on her APGAR so she was sent to the NICU. Nathan and I were able to go with her. I did not leave her side. I was able to feed her her first bottle, change her first diaper, and give her her first bath. I was already in love with her.
After spending 4 hours in the NICU she was ready to go back to the maternity ward.
The next 72 hours was spent hanging out with the birth mom, taking care of the baby, trying all her headbands out,  falling more in love with this baby, and watching Nathan's heart grow for this little girl.
When people say you can't get attached until after the waiting period is over have never adopted a baby. How can you NOT love this tiny person who is so willing to love you back?
On the last day we left to go back to our hotel. We kissed the baby goodbye, not knowing we would never see her again. That evening I was texting the birth mom trying to express our appreciation, love, and gratitude for her. She was responded by thanking us for loving the baby and told us how comfortable she was with her decision.
At 8 am the next morning we got a call from the adoption agency explaining how the birth mom was struggling with her decision. We were told not to go back to the hospital until we were called. After breakfast we drove to the hospital and sat in our car in the parking garage. We sat listened to music and prayed and prayed and prayed. The time dragged on and on and on. Finally, at 1:48pm we got the call the birth mom had decided to parent the baby. To say I was devastated is an under statement.
It was a horrible drive back to Nathan's family's house. I cried the entire 2.5 hr drive and then cried some more. Nathan has stayed strong for me. I know he is just as heart broken.
Since coming home, I have packed away the nursery and have sent a letter to the birth mom trying to express our understanding.
I know I am suppose to forgive her and that God has a reason for this horrible experience but right now, as I sit here crying, it is REALLY hard to understand Gods timing or reasoning.
We know that God has a baby for us and someday he will give us that child but my heart it still broken and my angry/jealousy is overwhelming.
My family has been so supportive and been a great distraction. But now that things have settled down I find myself crying over everything and my heart aching all the time. I know it will get better and I pray that I will rely on my Savior and I know He will get me through this. But right not forgiving and forgetting are never easy.
Until next time...
By the way, I know we introduced this baby on Facebook and we gave her a name. After a long discussion we have decided to keep this name for our first daughter when ever she comes. The birth mom has given her a different name.

A little of this a little of that

Tomorrow we find out if the birth mom is ready to be induced on Wednesday.
We have been trying to prepare as much as possible.
Baby is packed
We are almost packed
Pack n Play and car seat are ready to go
and the nursery is complete
Here are a few pictures of it. Thanks to a friend we were able to put the finishing touches on it last week. I am in love with it. Hope baby girl loves it too.



Please continue to pray for the birth mom. She has been in a lot of pain and now is so big it is hard for her to walk. And pray that tomorrow we will hear good news.

Unbelievable Courage

A couple of weekends ago, we made a trip to Ohio. We had this trip planned for a few months. We were going to help celebrate Nathan's grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. What an accomplishment! I can only pray Nathan and I will be able to celebrate our 60th.

But this trip was extra special. We got to meet the birth mom.

Of course days leading to this I was a nervous wreck. What if she doesn't like us? Will our outfits make her hate us? (Yes I really did think that) What if we say something that we are not suppose to? What if she changes her mind? It's so hard to prepare for something like this. How do you "sale" yourself without sounding self centered?

So we made the trip to Northern Ohio and we took her out to dinner (yummy chipotle, her choice)!

She is the most sweet, kind, caring, funny, loving, comforting, courageous, strong, and brave person I have met. We were able to visit for 3.5 hours ( and the agency was concerned because our initial phone conference was short). We talked about our childhoods, what we like to do, a plan for the hospital, plans for after birth, and of course laughing at Nathan's cheesy jokes. The time flew by.
We came as strangers and left feeling like we were great friends!

It has been amazing to see Gods hand in this entire adoption. Not only did he answer prayers for a fast adoption. But He blessed us with a birth mom in a state that we have family. Also, He blessed us with a GREAT birth mom.  She has told us numerous times she is at peace with her decision on choosing us.

As the due date approaches (July 3rd) please pray for us all. For her delivery, for our quick travels to OH, for the pain that she has been in, and that she remains at peace with her decision. Ohio state law is that she has 72 hours to change her mind. We pray that she won't and I can't even imagine the pain and sadness she will endure within the next couple of weeks!

The Cat is out of the Bag

A week and a half after we went "active" we got the call every adoptive family waits for.
A wonderful young lady chose us to be her child's adoptive family.
We were are so excited!
On Tuesday May 14th we received a call from American Adoptions. They informed us that we were chosen but this young lady's budget was more than ours (we are able to decline this match because our budgets don't match).
But!!!!
The other information (personal information that we choose not to share) made her a PERFECT match.
With SO much help from my parents, we were able to accept this match.
Needless to say, we have a birth mother. She is due July 3rd and she is having a girl!!
Even with all this excitement, we have to remember that the birth mother can change her mind. The state the birth mother is in there is a 72 hour time period that she has to change her mind. It is still a very REAL possibility that this could happen. We have spoken to her a few times and we will get to meet her in 2 weeks. She feels comfortable and confident that she is making the right decision. But we continue to pray that this is God's plan. That the birth mom is at peace with her decision. And that she and the baby remain healthy.
So we wait impatiently for the next call for us to head to the hospital.